Mentoring an Online Grace Fellowship Leader
Question: I've been saved around 7 years. God saved me in the midst of a deep crisis, alcoholism, a looming divorce and a lot of other issues. I was attending a Calvinist church and started to get the conviction to stop attending. There are no sound churches that I know of in my area. Through a whole lot of other twists and turns I found a grace online fellowship. It has been great. I have grown and have been teaching there weekly studies for the past three or four years. We're an international fellowship. Most of the people in the group are unchurched due to no sound congregation in their locality. I hold to a once saved always saved classic dispensationalism. I am pre-trib rapture and pre-millennial. I am at a place where the fellowship is growing slowly, but my ability to be a makeshift pastor for lack of a better term could use some work. Some people would describe us as being hyper grace because we are quite firm about the forgiveness of the believer and reject progressive sanctification taught by most churches. I need a mentor and I've never really felt like asking someone till now. I'm 50 years old. Here's a YouTube link of our studies. I know it's an unorthodox request and understand if you're not comfortable with it. I thought I would ask.
You describe a path that many in this generation are walking: coming out of theological systems that do not match Scripture, finding online fellowship, and gradually being thrust into pastoral responsibility without formal institutional support.
The Ministry Context You Describe
Several elements of your situation are noteworthy:
- You have been teaching regularly for three or four years, which indicates both perseverance and a real pastoral impulse.
- Your fellowship is international and largely composed of people with no sound local congregation, which magnifies the responsibility and also the opportunity.
- Your doctrinal stance—once saved always saved, classic dispensational, pre‑trib, pre‑millennial, strong on forgiveness, rejecting progressive sanctification as commonly taught—is distinct enough that others label you "hyper grace.’’
The "hyper grace’’ label is often applied by those whose own positions are not carefully defined. It generally signals that you are being precise about grace in ways that unsettle more traditional systems. That in itself is not a cause for concern; the substance of your teaching is what matters.
The Need for Mentoring
Your sense that you are a "makeshift pastor’’ whose skills could use some work is both accurate and healthy. Every pastor, whether formally trained or self‑taught, needs:
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- theological sharpening,
- practical counsel on shepherding people,
- and someone who can speak plainly into his method and direction.
Age is not a barrier here. Beginning or redirecting pastoral work at 50 is often advantageous:
- You have decades of life experience behind you.
- Statistically, you likely have several productive decades ahead.
- Many historically influential people found their real usefulness after midlife, when experience and conviction had matured.
Self‑Training and Formal Training
You indicate, implicitly, that your theological formation has been outside accredited structures. That is not a disadvantage for rightly dividing ministry. Formal theological degrees often:
- bind one to denominational expectations,
- inculcate inherited systems rather than independent exegesis,
- and sometimes hinder the kind of fresh, text‑driven approach needed for dispensational clarity.
A self‑trained teacher who is diligent, humble, and accountable can often be more responsive to Scripture than someone constrained by institutional loyalties.
The Value of a Mentor in Your Situation
A mentor in your position is not primarily about providing institutional legitimacy, but about:
- listening to your teaching and giving concrete feedback,
- suggesting adjustments in method or emphasis,
- pointing out blind spots in doctrine or application,
- encouraging you to make strategic decisions about the fellowship’s direction.
Often a single sentence of counsel, given at the right time, can alter the trajectory of a ministry. Many of us can look back to small, almost incidental comments from older ministers that reshaped our approach.
You are right to seek this now. After several years of teaching and at the threshold of what could be a long season of fruitful service, having someone who can help you refine and deepen your pastoral work is especially valuable.
Next Steps
Your request is not unorthodox in substance; it is simply more explicit than most people are willing to be. Your doctrinal clarity and your desire for accountability mark you as someone worth investing in.
The appropriate response is to review your material and then communicate directly about how mentoring could function in your specific context—what kind of interaction, what frequency, and what focus would best serve you and your fellowship. That kind of tailored, ongoing relationship is where mentoring has its greatest value.